Jokes

A real estate salesman had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water. “That…

A customer in a department store is offered a discounted suit by a salesperson. "But the arms and legs don't match," he says. "One arm and…

Q: How do you scare a man? A: Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice. Q: Men will brag that there are women waiting by the phone at this very…

A snake goes to the optometrist one day. "I've been having a bit of trouble with my eyesight lately," he says. "And it's been making it…

Juan Vega, the clam diver, found an injured sea otter and nursed it back to health. From the moment the grateful otter was able to walk, it never left…

The day after I had surgery on my leg, a nurse came into my hospital room with a box in her hand. “Are you ready for this?” “What is it?” I…

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When an eel bites your thigh and you bleed out and die, that’s a moray. When you’re…

Apparently, independent studies have discovered that the internet is an addictive agent which, they say, is just as powerful as drugs or alcohol. However,…

Principal: "Billy, is it true that you called the teacher a big meanie?" Billy: "Yes I did." Principal: "And did you call her…

Some geological engineers from the U.S.G.S. recently surveyed some property in New England and found that in a certain area, the New Hampshire and Maine border…

After a day of grueling maneuvers under the blazing Texas sun, the platoon stood in front of the barracks. "All right, maggots, think about…

The Committee for the Reduction of Redundancy and the Anti-proliferation of Repetition has decided not to meet until they have their first meeting and thus will…

I come from a large family, five sisters and three brothers. My sisters and I were looking through the family photo album one day. Picture after picture, we…

Three very mischievous old ladies are sitting on a park bench when they see an old man walk by. "Say, fella," the first lady says. "I bet we can…

A sales rep for a publisher of accounting reference materials was talking to a customer about a guide to assist with preparing for an audit. The way she…

Nothing looks good on me anymore,” wailed a customer modeling an outfit in front of the department store’s mirror. “Nonsense, ma’am,” soothed the…

The air traffic controller, working a busy pattern, told the 727 on downwind to make a three-sixty (usually done to provide spacing between aircraft). The…

A woman, searching for a job, inquired about the benefits. The Personnel Manager informed her they had group health and life insurance, but the costs were…

A teacher gave her class of second graders a lesson on the magnet and what it does. The next day in a written test, she included this question:…

A man sees a job advert published on a building site, "Handy man wanted; apply within." The man goes to speak to the foreman and…