Jokes

A very sick woman on her sick bed said to her husband:Honey if I die, how long would it take you before you marry a another wife…?!The man replied: Till your…

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s License to verify my…

While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As she went to the…

My wife was complaining that I spend too much time on the computer, and not enough time with her. I decided to fix that by having a "movie night" with…

A Cheerio sat at the bottom of a box of cereal, but he longed to get to the top of the box. He had heard at the top of the box, there was a huge party, and he…

"What's that you're reading?" "A diary." "What's in it?" "I can't tell you that! A diary is a highly…

A daddy was listening to his child say his prayer and he hear a "Dear Harold." At this, dad interrupted and said, "Wait a minute, why did you…

Our fourth grader celebrated his birthday on crutches, so he couldn’t carry the cupcakes into school without help. I asked our sixth-grader, Noah, to help his…

During the ‘rush hour’ at Houston’s Hobby Airport, a flight was delayed due to a mechanical problem. Since they needed the gate for another flight, the aircraft…

My older brother, Lenny, loved to tell the story of what happened to our cocker spaniel, Inky. It seems Lenny was using an open bowl of gasoline to wash some…

Upon getting his own apartment, my brother-in-law received a hand mixer from his mother because of his fondness for mashed potatoes. Later, she asked him how…

An elderly gentleman was in the kitchen and had taken down the wall clock, placing it on the floor in front of him. Then he turned on the kitchen radio tuning…

Four-year-old Johnny was eating a hot dog when he dropped it on the floor. He quickly picked it up and was about to take another bite when his mom said,…

A man was getting married to a doctor's daughter. At the wedding reception, the father of the bride stood to read his toast, which he had scribbled on a…

There was a trial in a small town in Texas, and the prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand, she was a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He…

Wife to husband: “What do you want for dinner tonight?” “Well, we could buy prepared crust and make our own pizza at home. Or we could go off our diets and get…

  The CIA is interviewing three potential agents — two men and a woman. For the final test, they bring one of the male candidates to a door and hand him a gun.…

Mrs. Marble, a Sunday School teacher, was telling her students about the time when Lot's wife looked back at Sodom she turned into a pillar of salt. Little…

After a coworker had finished his English lecture and his class had filed out, a tenth grader stayed behind to confront him. “I don’t appreciate being singled…

One semester when my brother, Peter, attended the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis, an art-student friend of his asked if he could paint Peter's…