Jokes

During a parent-teacher conference, a mother insisted I shouldn’t have taken points off her daughter’s English paper for calling her subject Henry 8 instead of…

A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they…

A visitor to the North Pole was given the grand tour of the place by Santa Claus. The visitor suddenly exclaimed, "What a huge reindeer! But why…

Computer novices may feel like they're alone these days, but the following call to IBM's help center show there are plenty of people out there who…

  He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs and rump, and chest. His father replied, “Because when I’m…

  The CIA is interviewing three potential agents — two men and a woman. For the final test, they bring one of the male candidates to a door and hand him a gun.…

As chaplain in a university residence hall, I am supposed to uphold all of the school rules, which include a ban on pets. That changed when a kitten adopted me.…

A manufacturer retired and moved to the country. He put on denims, boots, and a plaid shirt, and became a country gentleman. An old friend came to visit. The…

Two beefy men came to my house to install some new floor covering in the kitchen. Once they had moved the stove and refrigerator out of the way, it was not long…

The cost of Halloween Candy is up 13.1% since last year, and to make matters worse, they're giving us less in every package. For example, Good 'n…

The cowpoke at the dude ranch was getting the crowd to pick the type horse they wanted. "For those seasoned riders, we have fast horses. For you novice…

You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream. The back of your head keeps getting…

When we are married, we may be asked many questions by our significant other. Some of those questions are going to come and go and we don’t need to put much…

After our air conditioner broke down, we called for a serviceman to come and take a look at it. It turned out he was a high school classmate of my…

A young, freshly minted lieutenant was sent to Bosnia as part of the peace keeping mission. During a briefing on land mines, the captain asked for questions.…

A guy walks into a bar, orders a pint and a pork pie, downs his pint, puts the pork pie on his head and smashes it with his hand, then walks out, leaving the…

The young bullfrog, full of himself, went off to find a wife. He met a cute female porcupine, and quickly fell in love with her. He told his father about his…

One day a guy walks in a bar and asks for five shots of whiskey.The bartender asks why. The guy says, “I found out my brother is lesbian.”The same guy, comes in…

While shopping at the mall, my husband and I became separated. I went out to the car, but realized I didn't have the keys. I went back into the store where…

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a genie’s lamp.She picked it up and rubbed it. Lo-and-behold a genie appeared.The amazed woman asked…