Jokes

Johnny plays nice for a bit but starts getting rough again. The neighbor says, “be nice Johnny or karma will get you.” Johnny again plays nice for a bit but…

sisters to sit on the sofa. The deaf sister said to her twin “WHAT DID HE SAY?” “WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!” said the other. “Now get a little closer…

An old lady is speeding down a highway, when she spots a police officer with a speed gun. The officer signals for her to pull over, and then walks over and asks…

The CEO offered an employee a bonus of $10k or to double it and pass it on to the next employee. The first employee elected to double and pass it on. The CEO…

The computers in the cash counting room in one of Las Vegas’ biggest casinos all crashed, and the workers were forced to count and tally the money by writing…

My Friend Benny kept dropping his phone and cracking his screen. He went through a seemingly endless series of visits to cellphone screen replacement shops, and…

"I see you were last employed by a psychiatrist," said the employer to the applicant. "Why did you leave?" "Well," she replied,…

Upon arrival at the Pearly Gates, you are allowed one wish for anyone you left behind, back on earth. St. Peter explained this to a woman who had just recently…

There was a trial in a small town in Texas, and the prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand, she was a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He…

A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a hospital for several years and felt uneasy, not knowing about all the new technology. A…

A small boy in a farming town was leading a donkey passed by an army camp. A couple of soldiers wanted to have some fun with the boy. "What are you holding…

A girlfriend and boyfriend walked into the girlfriend’s house and the girlfriend said to her mom, “Mom, me and my boyfriend are going up to my room” and the mom…

This older lady handed her bank card to the teller and said “I would like to withdraw $10”. The teller told her “for withdrawals less than $100, please use the…

A lawyer had a jury trial in a very difficult business case. The client, who had attended the trial, was out of town when the jury came back with its decision,…

I’m 5’2, and my highest weight that I stayed at for a long time was 215. I got to 25, and realized I had never been in a relationship. I was too self conscious…

A preacher challenged his wife and criticized her actions after finding a dress costing $250 in her bag. He said, "You know we are on an incredibly tight…

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman from South Alabama arrives and bets $20,000 on a single roll of dice.…

Fred collected lots of money from trick-or-treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. "You should give that money to charity,"…

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2…

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman from South Alabama arrives and bets $20,000 on a single roll of dice.…