Jokes

A woman went on vacation, leaving her husband behind.Before she left, she told him to take extra special care of her cat.The next day she called her husband and…

  Two wives go out for girls’ night. Both got drunk, started walking home and had to pee. They stopped at a cemetery but had nothing to wipe with. One used her…

One day Jimmy John went to into a brothel on the west coast of Canada.He was greeted by a stunning hostess that politely asked how they can be of service.Jimmy,…

Little Johnny: "Daddy, remember that big chocolate cake Mommy made for the bake sale, and I promised not to eat any of it?" Dad: "Yes, son."…

Little Johnny and Susie, each five years old, were playing house. They both decided it was time to get married. So Little Johnny went to Susie’s dad to ask for…

A lion was stalking through the jungle one day when he came across a bull. The lion and the bull got into a tremendous battle, but in the end the lion killed…

Husband: Mom, called me and she is coming tomorrow, her train will reach by 4 O’ Clock.Wife: What! She came just 4 months back, right? Why is she coming…

A girlfriend and boyfriend walked into the girlfriend’s house and the girlfriend said to her mom, “Mom, me and my boyfriend are going up to my room”… It was…

In a panic she told her boyfriend “Hurry, stand in the corner and do not move until I tell you to.Just shut your eyes and pretend you’re a statue.”“What’s this,…

The old lady had a parrot who had never spoken a word in eight years. She had tried everything she could think of to teach him to speak, from reading books,…

After noticing her 50p Christmas cardigan contained a pair of very unpleasant reindeer, a bargain-hunting grandmother was left red-faced. When Carolyn Hallam,…

  When we are married, we may be asked many questions by our significant other. Some of those questions are going to come and go and we don’t need to put much…

My wife and I were at my high school reunion. As I looked around, I noticed the other men in their expensive suits ... and their bulging stomachs. Proud of the…

  Husband: Mom, called me and she is coming tomorrow, her train will reach by 4 O’ Clock. Wife: What! She came just 4 months back, right? Why is she coming now?…

Bob and George are golfing, when a bird flies overhead. "Wow! What a big duck!" Bob says. "That's no duck, it's a goose." George…

  A woman gives birth to a baby, and afterward, the doctor comes into her room and says, “I have something to tell you about your child.”The woman worriedly…

Husband catches wife moaning in bedroom. If you are in the mood for a good joke then we have one for you. Honestly, we haven’t laughed this much in a while.A…

Frankie: "So, I took my girlfriend out for dinner at this fancy restaurant last night; she orders a bowl of soup, and wouldn't you know it, she finds…

There was an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish confessing to adultery.One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, “If I hear one more person…

Harold and Jack are about to rob a bank. Harold says, "All right, Jack, now here's what to do: go into that bank with this gun and this bag, hold the…