Jokes

Q: How do you scare a man? A: Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice. Q: Men will brag that there are women waiting by the phone at this very moment for…

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: “For Women Only.” Since they are without their boyfriends and…

A snake goes to the optometrist one day. "I've been having a bit of trouble with my eyesight lately," he says. "And it's been making it…

Two old men are sat on a bench at the park. A young, smoking hot girl runs past in a sports bra and a tiny pair of shorts. One of the men smiles and this brings…

All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a cowl standing in front of his bed. “What the hell are you doing in my bedroom? and who are you?”…

Juan Vega, the clam diver, found an injured sea otter and nursed it back to health. From the moment the grateful otter was able to walk, it never left…

A woman is walking on the road and a voice shouts out, “Don’t take a step further.” She obeys and suddenly a ton of bricks fall on the place where she would…

A girlfriend and boyfriend walked into the girlfriend’s house and the girlfriend said to her mom, “Mom, me and my boyfriend are going up to my room”… It was…

A woman arrived at a party. While scanning the guests, she spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him, smiled and said, “Hello. My name is…

The day after I had surgery on my leg, a nurse came into my hospital room with a box in her hand. “Are you ready for this?” “What is it?” I asked. “Fleet enema.…

A Scottish farmer is sitting on his front porch one day, resting after finishing his tasks with his dog at his feet.A man in a suit approaches the farmer,…

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When an eel bites your thigh and you bleed out and die, that’s a moray. When you’re smashed with…

A married CEO is having an affair with his secretary. They finish up, and he is getting dressed. She says, “Is there anything else I can help you with tonight?”…

Two man decide to go duck hunting.Neither one of them has ever been duck hunting before and after several hours they still haven’t bagged any.One hunter looks…

Interrupted by disapproving looks from other patrons. The dimly lit bar seemed to hold its breath as it calmly looked into the cyclist’s eyes. “Dude, I loved…

A drunken Irishman is driving through the city of Dublin and his car is weaving violently all over the road.A cop pulls him over.“So,” says the cop to the…

Apparently, independent studies have discovered that the internet is an addictive agent which, they say, is just as powerful as drugs or alcohol. However,…

On his first day on the job, the trainee dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone: “Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!” The voice from the other side…

Little Johnny had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he’d make a deal…

Principal: "Billy, is it true that you called the teacher a big meanie?" Billy: "Yes I did." Principal: "And did you call her a wicked…