Jokes

When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big bo*bs. When I was 16 I got a girlfriend with big boobs, but there was no passion, so I…

  A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph, with the husband behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, “Honey, I know we’ve…

  A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the…

A New York businessman buys a newspaper, glances at the front page, throws it away. Next day, he does the same thing. This goes on for days. Eventually, the…

A rich lady gives her butler the night off because she is going out on a date. When she arrives back home from the date she saw the butler was still home and…

  I was sitting in a pizzeria with my girlfriend and we were having a quiet afternoon. Next to our table came a young couple. They sat facing each other.…

The nurse was walking down the hospital corridor when her supervisor spotted her. The supervisor couldn’t believe it: The nurse’s hair was unkempt, her dress…

In search of a new shower for our home, my wife and I went to a bathroom-supply store. We discussed our needs with a young saleswoman. Since it was near closing…

  A co-worker told John that John’s wife was being unfaithful everyday at 1:30 in the afternoon with John’s best friend. Worried and hurt, John ran home at 1:30…

Boarding the aircraft for the first time, Judy settled into a window seat in the quietest part of the plane. A man came over and politely said,…

The old man was a witness in a burglary trial.The defense lawyer asks Sam, “Did you see my client commit this burglary?”“Yes,” said Sam, “I saw him plainly take…

A Mexican restaurant I pulled up to looked great. Only one problem - it wasn't open. So I jotted down the name for another day. Just then, a man came out…

A woman goes to the dentist. When it was her turn, she sat on the chair, lowered her underpants, and raised her legs. The dentist said, “Excuse me, but … I’m…

  Two men are in a bar getting drunk. Suddenly one of them throws up all over himself. He says, “Oh, no. Now my wife will kill me”. His friend says, “Don’t…

Master: That shirt looks soiled, didn't you wash it? Servant: I did! But while i was taking it to the shop for ironing i dropped it on the ground! Master:…

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. McNick, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?” No one answered until…

Mr. Rabinowicz goes to the doctor for a check up. After extensive tests the doctor tells him, “I’m afraid I have some bad news for you. You only have six months…

We were celebrating the 100th anniversary of our church, and several former pastors and the bishop were in attendance. At one point, our minister had the…

  A newly married couple are in bed when the man asks his wife how many men she has slept with After the question, the woman doesn’t respond. The man asks again…

Not long ago I met the waitress of my dreams. About halfway through dinner I called the waitress over and said, "Ma'am, this potato is bad." She…