Jokes

A long time ago, a baker and a farmer lived in the same small English village. These two men had a friendly arrangement in place, where the farmer would sell a…

A woman, searching for a job, inquired about the benefits. The Personnel Manager informed her they had group health and life insurance, but the costs were…

A man who drank alot was told by his wife “If you ever come home drunk again, I’m going to leave you”. Regardless, that night he went out to a pub and drank a…

A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception.She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said,…

A beautiful woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately. The woman seductively…

A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine.‘What was that for?’ he asked.‘That…

A teacher gave her class of second graders a lesson on the magnet and what it does. The next day in a written test, she included this question: "My full…

A blonde walks into a store to buy a new Television She looks around for a while and finds the perfect TV for herself She approaches the salesman and says “I…

So an older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side.He told the jeweler he was looking for a…

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He…

A guy gets home late one night and his wife says,“where the hell have you been?”“I was out getting a tattoo.”“A tattoo?What kind of tattoo did you get?”“I got a…

A man sees a job advert published on a building site, "Handy man wanted; apply within." The man goes to speak to the foreman and applies. Foreman:…

Little Johnny walks in on his mother in the bathtub. He asks his mother what is the big fuzzy patch below her bellybutton. She replies, “A bush.” The next day…

The doctor and his wife were playing golf at the club and she drove a 300 yard tee shot straight down the fairway.The doctor said Wow I have never seen you play…

An 85 years old lady was waiting for her husband at the bar in Harpoon Harry’s. Suddenly, a very handsome man enters and sits down a few seats away. The man is…

A guy asked a girl in a university library: “Do you mind if I sit beside you?”The girl replied with a loud voice: “I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!”All…

Top 5 Things We're Hoping A.I. Does For Us: Call balls and strikes. Seriously. Is it in the square, or not? Explain how my wife can always be wrong. Defend…

We always hear “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big…

Three Scotsmen were sitting in a bar together.When I die, said the old Scot, I would like one of you to pour a bottle of the best Scottish whisky over my…

A priest and a nun are having a tennis match…The priest is very competitive, but can’t seem to bring his A-game to the nun who is clearly better. After a volley…