Jokes

Three Scotsmen were sitting in a bar together.When I die, said the old Scot, I would like one of you to pour a bottle of the best Scottish whisky over my…

A priest and a nun are having a tennis match…The priest is very competitive, but can’t seem to bring his A-game to the nun who is clearly better. After a volley…

A police officer pulls over an elderly couple He walks up to the driver’s side window and asks the husband for his license and registration.The wife, hard of…

The owner of a golf course was confused about paying a bill,So he asked his blonde secretary for some mathematical help.“If I were to give you $20,000, minus…

Little Johnny's mother is making lunch when Johnny comes in from playing outside, covered in dirt. "Johnny, you need to clean up for dinner," his…

So David Is finally engaged, and is excited to show off his new bride. “Ma”, he said to his Mother, “I’m going to bring home three girls and I want you to guess…

A young farm girl answers the door and sees an older neighbor there.Girl: “My father isn’t home, but I know what you want and I can help you.You want our bull…

know anything about science, I could give the conference in your place.”“That’s a great idea!” says Einstein. “Let’s switch places then!” So they switch clothes…

As a member of the Marine Corps, a man was stationed at Twenty-Nine Palms Base in California. Among those serving there was a private who was determined not to…

A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn’t seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon an old gentleman…

One day a child at my four-year-old's preschool class told her classmates that she needed a 'damp towel.' Some of the other kids thought she said…

One day a blonde, brunette, and a redhead were hiking when they came across a cliff. There was no bridge and they couldn’t think of anyother way to get across…

A young female teacher, good looking and wearing a short and tight skirt, was giving an assignment to her class one day. It was a big assignment, so she started…

Jesus and Satan were having an argument as to who was the better programmer. This went on for a few hours until they agreed to hold a contest with God as the…

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the…

Bud and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as airplane mechanics in Atlanta. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar…

The nurse was walking down the hospital corridor when her supervisor spotted her. The supervisor couldn’t believe it: The nurse’s hair was unkempt, her dress…

A woman comes home and tells her husband, “Remember those headaches I’ve been having all these years? Well, they’re gone.” “No more headaches?” the husband…

A man was walking down the road when suddenly, a masked man jumped out from behind a bush and yelled, "Give me your money!" "I have no money,…

A young widow would come to her husband’s grave weekly to water the flowers. Then, every time, she would walk away with her back turned. A young man who had…