Jokes

  Two men are in a bar getting drunk. Suddenly one of them throws up all over himself. He says, “Oh, no. Now my wife will kill me”. His friend says, “Don’t…

Master: That shirt looks soiled, didn't you wash it? Servant: I did! But while i was taking it to the shop for ironing i dropped it on the ground! Master:…

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. McNick, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?” No one answered until…

Mr. Rabinowicz goes to the doctor for a check up. After extensive tests the doctor tells him, “I’m afraid I have some bad news for you. You only have six months…

We were celebrating the 100th anniversary of our church, and several former pastors and the bishop were in attendance. At one point, our minister had the…

  A newly married couple are in bed when the man asks his wife how many men she has slept with After the question, the woman doesn’t respond. The man asks again…

Not long ago I met the waitress of my dreams. About halfway through dinner I called the waitress over and said, "Ma'am, this potato is bad." She…

  A couple comes up to a wishing well. The guy leans over, makes a wish, and throws in a penny. His wife decides to make a wish, too, but she leans over too…

A boy comes back from school, disappointed because he got a 0 on a geography exam. “The teacher gave me a zero because I couldn’t answer a question on…

Windows: Please enter your new password. User: potatoes Windows: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters long. User: baked potatoes Windows: Sorry,…

In this heartwarming clip, young Matty’s potty training journey takes an unexpected and hilarious turn, bringing smiles to those in need of a pick-me-up. Seated…

Having raised a large family, my mother cooked everything in battalion-size batches. So when my newly married brother, Ron requested her chop-suey recipe, she…

One of our projects at military leadership school called for us to speak in front of the class on a topic picked by our instructor. A classmate gave an…

A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb blonde. Her friend tells her “Go do something to prove them wrong! Why don’t you…

The little daughter asked her mother, “How do you make a baby?” The mother didn’t know how to react. So she thought real hard, “Well, daddy hugged mommy really…

After doing laundry, I was putting my clean socks in the top dresser drawer when suddenly the bottom drawer sprang open and smacked me in the shins. I bent over…

A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her melons in the mirror.He asks, “What are you doing?” She replies, “I went to the doctor today, and he…

Halfway between New York City and Washington DC the train's engine fell silent. "I've got good news and bad news," the conductor announced.…

One day the tortoise met the elephant, who trumpeted, “Out of my way, you weakling – I might step on you!”. The tortoise was not afraid… One day the tortoise…

A married couple was having a conversation. The husband asked his wife: “If I ever win the lottery, what would you do?” The wife’s respond was: “I would take…