Jokes

Guy visits his favourite DominatrixHe puts his money on the bedside table and says “I’ve been bad, mistress. I need to be punished.”She makes him strip and bend…

A man and his wife are out driving, and get pulled over by a police officer.The husband, who is the one behind the wheel, asks, “What’s the problem,…

Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to…

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a genie’s lamp.She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo and behold – a genie appeared.The amazed woman…

A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, “Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It’s been flickering for weeks now.” He…

A farmer spends $7,000 on a young registered Black Angus bull to mate with his cows.He puts the bull out with the herd, but the animal just eats grass.He won’t…

A man goes to the dentist to have a tooth pulled.The dentist takes out a needle to give the man a shot of Novocain. “No way, no needles, I can’t stand…

A pregnant woman falls into a coma whilst giving birth.After some months, she regains consciousness and she realises that her pregnancy belly is gone.A doctor…

Having raised a large family, my mother cooked everything in battalion-size batches. So when my newly married brother, Ron requested her chop-suey recipe, she…

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods.She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her,…

The kids filed back into class Monday morning.Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.They were all excited…

One of our projects at military leadership school called for us to speak in front of the class on a topic picked by our instructor. A classmate gave an…

A woman came up behind her husband while he was enjoying his morning coffee and slapped him on the back of the head. “I found a piece of paper in your pants…

I met an older woman at a bar last night.She looked pretty good for a lady who must have been in her 60s. In fact, she wasn’t bad at all!I found myself thinking…

After doing laundry, I was putting my clean socks in the top dresser drawer when suddenly the bottom drawer sprang open and smacked me in the shins. I bent over…

One day, a blonde’s neighbor goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened. The blonde said that her mother had passed away. The…

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, “What are you in here…

One day when Bubba and Billy Bob were in the Little Rock Wal-Mart…… they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle.They each bought five tickets at a…

Halfway between New York City and Washington DC the train's engine fell silent. "I've got good news and bad news," the conductor announced.…

At a small club in the mid-west, a ventriloquist is doing his show.His show includes a whole stream of jokes about blonde stupidity.After about a dozen of the…