Jokes

Boarding the aircraft for the first time, Judy settled into a window seat in the quietest part of the plane. A man came over and politely said,…

A Mexican restaurant I pulled up to looked great. Only one problem - it wasn't open. So I jotted down the name for another day. Just then, a man came out…

A wife goes on a retreat for work. When she returns, she finds a pair of panties in her dresser that do not belong to her. Furious, she questions her husband.…

A young boy stopped by the corner grocery store and read his list to the clerk: “10 pounds if sugar at 1.25 a pound; 4 pounds of coffee beans at 1.50 a pound; 2…

A blonde was sitting in the window seat on a plane when a young business executive sat down in the aisle seat beside the beautiful young girl. After several…

Master: That shirt looks soiled, didn't you wash it? Servant: I did! But while i was taking it to the shop for ironing i dropped it on the ground! Master:…

Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter — ten men and one woman. The rope wasn’t strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one…

A man was driving down the road. He passed a traffic camera and saw it flash. Astounded he had been caught speeding when he was doing the speed limit, he turned…

We were celebrating the 100th anniversary of our church, and several former pastors and the bishop were in attendance. At one point, our minister had the…

Three old men were sitting on a bench when a reporter approached them. “I wonder if you three would be willing to do an interview and tell me your secret to…

Not long ago I met the waitress of my dreams. About halfway through dinner I called the waitress over and said, "Ma'am, this potato is bad." She…

An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup when the doctor asked how he was feeling. “I’ve never been better!” he boasted. “I’ve got an 18 year old bride…

Windows: Please enter your new password. User: potatoes Windows: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters long. User: baked potatoes Windows: Sorry,…

A little boy wanted a bicycle for Christmas. His mother said she didn’t have enough money to buy him a new bike but suggested that if he wrote to Jesus…

Bell 2 rings, we slide down the pole; Bell 3 rings, we’re on the trucks. From now on, we’re going to run this house the same way. When I say Bell 1, I want you…

A girlfriend and boyfriend walked into the girlfriend’s house and the girlfriend said to her mom, “Mom, me and my boyfriend are going up to my room”… It was…

A group of male friends, all turning 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons because the…

Guy visits his favourite DominatrixHe puts his money on the bedside table and says “I’ve been bad, mistress. I need to be punished.”She makes him strip and bend…

A man and his wife are out driving, and get pulled over by a police officer.The husband, who is the one behind the wheel, asks, “What’s the problem,…

Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to…