Jokes

When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and I said, ‘Come on, man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?’ He…

I love my job, I love the pay. I love it more and more each day. I love my boss; he is the best. I love his boss and all the rest. I love my office and its…

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Not aware that 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home…

Two croupiers are sitting bored at the roulette of THE CASINO. Suddenly a very attractive blonde woman enters and bets $20,000 on a roll, saying: “I hope you do…

The answer by one student was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of…

A woman walks into a fabric shop and says, "May I have three yards of Satan, please? I'm making a dress for my sister." "I believe you mean…

A bus full of nuns crashes and they all die and go to the pearly gates. There they are met by St Peter. St Peter asks the first nun: “Sister, have you ever…

A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn’t do it while he waited, so he said he didn’t live far and would just walk…

A young woman was preparing for her wedding. She asked her mother to go out and buy a nice long black negligee and carefully place it in her suitcase so it…

A young nurse is watching an operation for the first time. "Excuse me, please," she asks the doctor. "But what are you doing?" "This…

Well, for example, the other day, Bev my wife and I went into town and visited a shop. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went…

A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy. "Where in…

A man and his wife were working in their garden one day. The man looks over at his wife and says: “Your butt is getting really big I mean really big. I bet your…

A woman arrived at a party. While scanning the guests, she spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him, smiled and said, “Hello. My name is…

A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question. "Boys and girls, what do we know about God?" A hand shot up in the air. "He is an…

Sharing is caring! After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing…

Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the screen. A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off? A: Pick it up…

A very distinguished lady was on a plane arriving from Switzerland.She found herself seated next to a nice priest whom she asked: “Excuse me Father, could I ask…

Dan married a woman with an identical twin. Less than a year later, he was in court filing for a divorce. “Tell the court why you want a divorce,” said the…

An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his IRS agent and his Lawyer (both church members), to come to his home. When they arrived, they were ushered…