Jokes

At a small club in the mid-west, a ventriloquist is doing his show.His show includes a whole stream of jokes about blonde stupidity.After about a dozen of the…

A blonde was sick and tired of people making fun of her for being a blonde, so she decided to hang herself. A couple minutes later two men walk by and see her…

A 90-year-old man goes for a physical, and all of his tests come back normal.The doctor says, “Arthur, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and…

An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending so much of his free time in the local bar, so one night he took her along with him. "What'll…

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, ‘Mrs.…

I was on a very crowded bus and an old woman with a walker gets on. All the other passengers proceed to file on and take up the remaining standing places but…

During my stay at an expensive hotel in New York City, I woke up in the middle of the night with an upset stomach. I called room service and ordered some soda…

  My wife and I got stuck in an elevator and when we got home, we told the story to our kids. They just looked at us and said. “Soooo….. …did ya get out?…

Out of breath, he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt? I’ll explain later.” The nun agreed… A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked,…

Fred was about to go on a hunting trip when he noticed his 21 year old son Jack walking up to him. "Hey Dad," Jack asked. "Can I go hunting with…

An 83 year old british gentleman arrived in Paris by plane. As he was fumbling in his bag for his passport a stern French lady asked if he had been to France…

They all arrive at the Pearly Gates and Saint Peter says “Let me ask you a question before admitting you to heaven.” To the first he says “My son, while on…

My wife and I have this running battle over the temperature setting for our air conditioning. She wants it set cooler. I want it set warmer. After a recent…

Late one evening a Marine pulled into a little town, only to find that every hotel room was taken. When he finally got to the last hotel, he pleaded to the…

Joe is on his last day at work as a mailman. He receives many thank-you cards and monetary gifts along his route. When he gets to the very last house, he is…

A student asked the teacher, “What is love?” The teacher said, “In order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come…

YOU MIGHT BE A PREACHER IF... - You've dreamed you were preaching, only to awaken and discover you were. - A church picnic is no picnic. - You wish people…

Mr. and Mrs. Morrison were on a safari in Africa. As they were walking through the jungle, a huge lion comes creeping out towards them, ready to pounce.…

One evening a teenage daughter and her mother were out shopping when they stopped to make a purchase. The young girl greeted the cashier with only a “Hi,” then…

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A pretty, young, student nurse appears to give him a partial…