Jokes

Two old ladies are standing at a bus station and one of them is smoking. Suddenly it starts raining so the smoking one takes out a condom from her purse, cuts…

A man and his wife are out driving, and get pulled over by a police officer.The husband, who is the one behind the wheel, asks, “What’s the problem,…

Our 26-year-old son moved back home with the idea to stock away money to buy a condo. We never bothered asking how long he'd planned to stay, but I got a…

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a genie’s lamp.She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo and behold – a genie appeared.The amazed woman…

No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between these two words. In a recent linguistic competition held in London and attended…

A farmer spends $7,000 on a young registered Black Angus bull to mate with his cows.He puts the bull out with the herd, but the animal just eats grass.He won’t…

A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, “Hey, Willis, forget your…

A pregnant woman falls into a coma whilst giving birth.After some months, she regains consciousness and she realises that her pregnancy belly is gone.A doctor…

I was working in my downtown flower shop, when I noticed a man grab a bouquet and head for the door without paying. By the time I got to the door, he was…

A man enters the emergency room with two black eyes, multiple lacerations, and a seven iron wrapped around his neck. The doctor pulls him into one of the…

The kids filed back into class Monday morning.Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.They were all excited…

An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h in 30,000 feet, when suddenly a Eurofighter with Tempo Mach 2 appears. The…

A jobless man applied for the position of ‘office boy’ at a very big company. The employer interviewed him, then a test: clean the floor. “You are hired.” – the…

Dad had the opportunity to buy his medications directly from the pharmacy company. “Here is your prescription sir, that will be $515 dollars.” Dad was a bit…

This guy is dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there’s a beautiful redhead sitting at the next table.He’s been sneakily checking her out ever since he…

The scene was the nursing home, as old Doug was nearing his last few breaths.His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him.He asks for 2 witnesses…

Joey would always come to school late and tell the teacher a big lie about what had made him late. Fed up with his lies, the teacher planned to tell Joey a…

Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, “What a beautiful night. Look at that moon!” The other drunk stops and looks at his drunk friend.…

A Scotsman, Englishman and an Irishman were drinking at a bar.“As good as this bar is,” said the Scotsman, “I still prefer the pubs back home.”“In Glasgow,…

My neighbor, she’s single. She’s single, shapely, beautiful, and she lives right across the street. I watched her as she got home from work this evening. I was…