Jokes

Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, “What a beautiful night. Look at that moon!” The other drunk stops and looks at his drunk friend.…

A Scotsman, Englishman and an Irishman were drinking at a bar.“As good as this bar is,” said the Scotsman, “I still prefer the pubs back home.”“In Glasgow,…

My neighbor, she’s single. She’s single, shapely, beautiful, and she lives right across the street. I watched her as she got home from work this evening. I was…

A blonde has failed the written driving test four times. At the fifth attempt, she was determined to pass: But the test had the same question. “You are driving…

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table.A very attractive blonde woman from South Alabama arrives and bets $20,000 on a single roll of dice.She…

Two blonde sisters, Abby and Amy went fishing and decided to rent a boat on a lake. After fishing for hours at various spots and catching nothing, they decided…

A man, his wife, and his mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land.While they were there, the mother-in-law passed away.An undertaker told them, “You can…

After enlisting in the 82nd Airborne Division, I eagerly asked my recruiter what I could expect from jump training. "Well," he said, "it's…

At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the…

A very cranky old woman was arrested for shoplifting at a supermarket.She gave everyone a hard time, from the store manager, to the security guard, to the…

A guy walks into a clinic to have his blood type taken. The nurse goes about taking the blood sample from his finger after finishing she looks around for a…

A recently single woman buys a flashy new Corvette.While driving it off the lot, she decides to take it on the highway and really open things up.She hits the…

1. Salmonella won't be a concern. 2. Everyone will think your turkey is Cajun blackened. 3. Uninvited guests will think twice next year. 4. Your cheese…

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? Border Collie: Just one. Then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code. Rottweiler: Make me! Lab: Oh,…

An old cowboy, dressed to kill with his cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs and chaps went to a bar and ordered a drink.As he sat there sipping his whiskey, an…

Fresh out of seminary, a young pastor found an associate position at a prestigious church. One Sunday early on, he was given the opportunity to preach. He…

A blonde is driving in her mini down the high way when she notices another blonde in a boat out in the middle of a corn field. The blonde in the boat was rowing…

One day, a 5 year old boy went to visit his granny.Playing with his toys on the back porch while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said,“Grandma, why don’t…

  These three drunk guys decide to go to the joy house. The madam sees them coming and tells the girls to just throw some blow up dolls in the rooms and turn…

Three Kids are arguing about who’s dad is the fastest.At lunch the first boy says,“My dad is the fastest because he is a brick layer & when he drops a brick…