Jokes

  A man walks into an antique store and starts looking around. Suddenly, he gazes upon the most stunning bronze statue of a Siamese cat. He asks the store owner…

A newly ordained priest, fresh out of seminary, is a little nervous about his first day in the confessional. He asks the senior priest to sit in on his…

Tax day, April 15, was looming when an elderly woman showed up at the IRS. She said she required a thick stack of tax forms. “Why so many?” the clerk asked. “My…

A young bloke with his pants hanging half off his arse, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck; walked into the Centrelink to…

A circus owner ran an ad for a lion tamer, and two young people showed up. One was a good-looking lad in his mid-twenties, and the other was a gorgeous blonde…

A blonde is driving in her mini down the high way when she notices another blonde in a boat out in the middle of a corn field. The blonde in the boat was rowing…

A traveling salesman goes to a farm house. The farmer says, “I could put you up for one night, but you’ll have to stay in the barn.” So he spends the night…

Three scruffy-looking bikers entered the truck stop where an elderly man was dining. The first biker chuckled and sat down at the counter as they passed the…

This guy sees a sign in front of a house: “Talking Dog for Sale.” He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the…

  These three drunk guys decide to go to the joy house. The madam sees them coming and tells the girls to just throw some blow up dolls in the rooms and turn…

A large, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good Lumberjack. The very next day, a skinny little man showed up at the…

A man phones his wife and asks her: “Honey I’ve been asked to go fishing in China with my boss for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get the…

An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up…

While ferrying workers back and forth from our offshore oil rig, the helicopter lost power and went down. Fortunately, it landed safely in a lake. Struggling to…

Two men sit drinking in the bar at the top of the Empire State Building. One turns to the other and says, “You know, last week I discovered that if you jump…

On their first date, a man asked his companion if she’d like a drink with dinner. “Oh, no, what would I tell my Sunday school class?” she said. Later, he…

A pastor, who shall we say was “humor impaired,” attended a conference to help encourage and better equip pastors for their ministry. Among the speakers were…

Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three…

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. “Well,” he…

Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, “What a beautiful night. Look at that moon!” The other drunk stops and looks at his drunk friend.…