Jokes

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. “Well,” he…

Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, “What a beautiful night. Look at that moon!” The other drunk stops and looks at his drunk friend.…

A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet…

A blonde has failed the written driving test four times. At the fifth attempt, she was determined to pass: But the test had the same question. “You are driving…

A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk. He staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool, and with a belch, asks the bartender for a…

Two blonde sisters, Abby and Amy went fishing and decided to rent a boat on a lake. After fishing for hours at various spots and catching nothing, they decided…

The hitting coach for the Cubs enters the manager’s office. “Skipper,” he says, “I’ve got some good news and some bad news.” “What’s the good news?” the manager…

An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h in 30,000 feet, when suddenly a Eurofighter with Tempo Mach 2 appears. The…

A couple are rushing into the hospital because the wife is going into labor. As they walk, a doctor says to them that he has invented a machine that splits the…

Dad had the opportunity to buy his medications directly from the pharmacy company. “Here is your prescription sir, that will be $515 dollars.” Dad was a bit…

The census taker is driving out in the boondocks of Arkansas on assignment and pulls up in front of a small farm. He approaches an old farmer rocking in his…

A jobless man applied for the position of ‘office boy’ at a very big company. The employer interviewed him, then a test: clean the floor. “You are hired.” – the…

A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn’t seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon an old gentleman…

Two West Virginia rednecks were out hunting, and as they were walking along, they came upon a huge hole in the ground. They approached it and were amazed at its…

Two happily married 60 year old’s were on holiday when they came across a magic lamp. They rubbed it three times and a Genie came out. The Genie was willing to…

My girlfriend said, “This is over. I’m tired of your weird obsession with wearing a different t-shirt every half an hour.” Me: Wait! I can change!

One day, a father and his daughter are together. The father is putting the daughter to sleep. After the father leaves, he hears her saying her prayers. He hears…

My wife, Tere, and I purchased a new car in December. Even though we had tickets to fly from California to Houston to visit her family for Christmas, we decided…

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, ‘Do you want to have Sex?’ ‘No,’ she answered. I then…

A Lexus mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of an LS460 when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop. The cardiologist was waiting for…