Jokes

A pirate walked into a bar, and the bartender said, “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.” “What do you mean?” said the pirate,…

A young doctor had moved to a small community near Broken Hill to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him…

A man tells his doctor that he isn’t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination is complete, he says, “Now, Doc, I can…

An old man went to the college that he went to when he was a youth. He knocked on room number 3 of the hostel and said: “May I come in. I lived in this very…

After giving up three runs in the top of the first, the manager runs out of the dugout to have a word with his rookie pitcher. The manager says, “Son, I think…

No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between these two words. In a recent linguistic competition held in London and attended…

A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, “Hey, Willis, forget your…

A man enters the emergency room with two black eyes, multiple lacerations, and a seven iron wrapped around his neck. The doctor pulls him into one of the…

A blonde has failed the written driving test four times. At the fifth attempt, she was determined to pass: But the test had the same question. “You are driving…

A man is driving down the highway when he sees a shipping truck wrecked on the side of the road, and 25 penguins waddling around outside it. He pulls over and…

He was a widower and she a widow. They had known each other for a number of years, having been high school classmates and having attended class reunions in the…

A boy goes to the drug store with his dad and sees the condom display. Boy: “Dad, why do they do packs of one condom?”Dad: “Those are for the high-schoolers for…

One Sunday morning, the vicar noticed little Johnny standing in the foyer of the church, looking at a large plaque that hung there. After the young man of seven…

A deaf man enters a pharmacy to buy condoms and tries to explain what he wants with sign language. The pharmacist doesn’t understand anything so the deaf man…

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were camping in the wilderness. After they got their tent set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone…

An old man was given a jar and asked to provide a sperm sample for his doctor. The next day he returned with the empty jar and explained, “Well, doc, it’s like…

A man walks into an antique store and starts looking around. Suddenly, he gazes upon the most stunning bronze statue of a Siamese cat. He asks the store owner…

A man and a woman were dating.She being of a religious nature had held back the worldly pleasure that he wanted from her so bad. In fact, he had never even seen…

A young bloke with his pants hanging half off his arse, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck; walked into the Centrelink to…

A blonde was sick and tired of people making fun of her for being a blonde, so she decided to hang herself. A couple minutes later two men walk by and see her…