Jokes

Dad had the opportunity to buy his medications directly from the pharmacy company. “Here is your prescription sir, that will be $515 dollars.” Dad was a bit…

The census taker is driving out in the boondocks of Arkansas on assignment and pulls up in front of a small farm. He approaches an old farmer rocking in his…

A jobless man applied for the position of ‘office boy’ at a very big company. The employer interviewed him, then a test: clean the floor. “You are hired.” – the…

A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn’t seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon an old gentleman…

Two West Virginia rednecks were out hunting, and as they were walking along, they came upon a huge hole in the ground. They approached it and were amazed at its…

Two happily married 60 year old’s were on holiday when they came across a magic lamp. They rubbed it three times and a Genie came out. The Genie was willing to…

My girlfriend said, “This is over. I’m tired of your weird obsession with wearing a different t-shirt every half an hour.” Me: Wait! I can change!

One day, a father and his daughter are together. The father is putting the daughter to sleep. After the father leaves, he hears her saying her prayers. He hears…

My wife, Tere, and I purchased a new car in December. Even though we had tickets to fly from California to Houston to visit her family for Christmas, we decided…

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, ‘Do you want to have Sex?’ ‘No,’ she answered. I then…

A Lexus mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of an LS460 when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop. The cardiologist was waiting for…

A pirate walked into a bar, and the bartender said, “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.” “What do you mean?” said the pirate,…

A young doctor had moved to a small community near Broken Hill to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him…

A man tells his doctor that he isn’t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination is complete, he says, “Now, Doc, I can…

An old man went to the college that he went to when he was a youth. He knocked on room number 3 of the hostel and said: “May I come in. I lived in this very…

After giving up three runs in the top of the first, the manager runs out of the dugout to have a word with his rookie pitcher. The manager says, “Son, I think…

No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between these two words. In a recent linguistic competition held in London and attended…

A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, “Hey, Willis, forget your…

A man enters the emergency room with two black eyes, multiple lacerations, and a seven iron wrapped around his neck. The doctor pulls him into one of the…

A blonde has failed the written driving test four times. At the fifth attempt, she was determined to pass: But the test had the same question. “You are driving…