Jokes

During my stay at an expensive hotel in New York City, I woke up in the middle of the night with an upset stomach. I called room service and ordered some soda…

Fred was about to go on a hunting trip when he noticed his 21 year old son Jack walking up to him. "Hey Dad," Jack asked. "Can I go hunting with…

My wife and I have this running battle over the temperature setting for our air conditioning. She wants it set cooler. I want it set warmer. After a recent…

YOU MIGHT BE A PREACHER IF... - You've dreamed you were preaching, only to awaken and discover you were. - A church picnic is no picnic. - You wish people…

Mr. and Mrs. Morrison were on a safari in Africa. As they were walking through the jungle, a huge lion comes creeping out towards them, ready to pounce.…

In my job with a delivery company, I was getting directions to a customer's home. The woman very specifically said, "From the main road in the center…

Think About It... - Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone. - What if there were no hypothetical questions? - One nice thing about…

Our 26-year-old son moved back home with the idea to stock away money to buy a condo. We never bothered asking how long he'd planned to stay, but I got a…

I was working in my downtown flower shop, when I noticed a man grab a bouquet and head for the door without paying. By the time I got to the door, he was…

Joey would always come to school late and tell the teacher a big lie about what had made him late. Fed up with his lies, the teacher planned to tell Joey a…

My neighbor, she’s single. She’s single, shapely, beautiful, and she lives right across the street. I watched her as she got home from work this evening. I was…

After enlisting in the 82nd Airborne Division, I eagerly asked my recruiter what I could expect from jump training. "Well," he said, "it's…

1. Salmonella won't be a concern. 2. Everyone will think your turkey is Cajun blackened. 3. Uninvited guests will think twice next year. 4. Your cheese…

Fresh out of seminary, a young pastor found an associate position at a prestigious church. One Sunday early on, he was given the opportunity to preach. He…

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all watching a dolphin do some excellent tricks. The dolphin notices that the four gentlemen have a…

After shopping for most of the day, a couple returns to find their car has been stolen. They go to the police station to make a full report. Then, a detective…

Passing an office building late one night, the lady saw a sign that said, "Press bell for night watchman." She did so, and after several minutes she…

- Fell out of the family tree. - Forgot to pay his brain bill. - Goes surfing in Nebraska. - Golf bag doesn't have a full set of irons. - Got into the gene…

For over 40 years, my grandfather put in long hours at his job, so I was more than a little curious about the way he filled his days since his retirement.…

A squad car driver was covering a quiet beat out in the sticks when he was amazed to find a former lieutenant on the police force covering the beat. He stopped…