Two old ladies are sitting on a bus stop, smoking. It begins to rain, and one old lady pulls out a condom, stretches it out, snips the tip off and puts it over her cigarette so she can smoke without…

An Englishman staggers, ashen-faced, into a roadside bar, demanding a large brandy. The barman is concerned. “Well” says the man, “I was just driving along and my BMW suddenly gave up the ghost! So I…

An American who saw the volcano Mount Vesuvius erupt, was told by a native of the town that the United States had nothing to compare with it. The American simply said, "I should say not. However,…

A young man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and is going to get married. He says, “Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I’m going to…

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, “What’s in the bags?” “Sand,” answered Juan.The guard says, “We’ll just…