Three people want to get into heaven.St Nicholas is the gatekeeper. He says they must give him something related to Christmas to get in.The first person reaches into his pockets and pulls out a leaf.…

I met an older woman at a bar last night.She looked pretty good for a lady who must have been in her 60s. In fact, she wasn’t bad at all!I found myself thinking that she probably had a hot daughter.We…

Fred, a waiter who had worked in a small restaurant for 53 years, passed away one night. His wife, Lois was heartbroken without him; she spent several days contacting psychics, channelers, anyone who…

A vacuum cleaner salesman came to my door, out of nothing poured a bag of dog sh*t on my carpet without asking my permission and said, “Sir, if this vacuum can’t clean it completely, I’ll eat…

An MIT linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. “In English,” he said, “a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a…

One day when Bubba and Billy Bob were in the Little Rock Wal-Mart…… they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle.They each bought five tickets at a dollar a pop.The following week, when the…