A man, his wife, and his mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land.While they were there, the mother-in-law passed away.An undertaker told them, “You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you…

After enlisting in the 82nd Airborne Division, I eagerly asked my recruiter what I could expect from jump training. "Well," he said, "it's three weeks long." "What…

At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to…

A very cranky old woman was arrested for shoplifting at a supermarket.She gave everyone a hard time, from the store manager, to the security guard, to the arresting officer who took her away.She…

A guy walks into a clinic to have his blood type taken. The nurse goes about taking the blood sample from his finger after finishing she looks around for a piece of cotton to wipe away the excess…

A recently single woman buys a flashy new Corvette.While driving it off the lot, she decides to take it on the highway and really open things up.She hits the speed limit of 70 miles per hour and…

1. Salmonella won't be a concern. 2. Everyone will think your turkey is Cajun blackened. 3. Uninvited guests will think twice next year. 4. Your cheese broccoli lima bean casserole will gain…

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? Border Collie: Just one. Then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code. Rottweiler: Make me! Lab: Oh, me, me! Pleeease let me change the light…

An old cowboy, dressed to kill with his cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs and chaps went to a bar and ordered a drink.As he sat there sipping his whiskey, an attractive young lady sat down next to…

Fresh out of seminary, a young pastor found an associate position at a prestigious church. One Sunday early on, he was given the opportunity to preach. He prepared diligently - perhaps a bit too…

A blonde is driving in her mini down the high way when she notices another blonde in a boat out in the middle of a corn field. The blonde in the boat was rowing the boat. The blonde was very…

One day, a 5 year old boy went to visit his granny.Playing with his toys on the back porch while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said,“Grandma, why don’t you have a boyfriend now that grandpa…

  These three drunk guys decide to go to the joy house. The madam sees them coming and tells the girls to just throw some blow up dolls in the rooms and turn the lights out. The guys are so drunk the…

Three Kids are arguing about who’s dad is the fastest.At lunch the first boy says,“My dad is the fastest because he is a brick layer & when he drops a brick from the 5th floor he can run to the…

A man phones his wife and asks her: “Honey I’ve been asked to go fishing in China with my boss for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get the promotion. So could you please pack enough…