He gets out, walks inside, pulls out a rolls of twenties and starts buying everybody drinks.The weird part was is he had a head the size of a grapefruit.The bartender stirs up a conversation and says,…

A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb, and asked them to write the rest. As You Shall Make Your Bed So Shall You ...…

A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb blonde. Her friend tells her “Go do something to prove them wrong! Why don’t you learn all the state capitals or something?”…

During their vocabulary session the teacher begins her lesson with the word Contagious.So the teacher asks, “Can anyone use the word contagious in a sentence?”And of course, there is a little girl in…

The pope is early for his flight. He asks his driver on his way to the airport if he could drive around for a while because they have time to kill and he hasn't driven a car since becoming the…

The little daughter asked her mother, “How do you make a baby?” The mother didn’t know how to react. So she thought real hard, “Well, daddy hugged mommy really hard and 9 months later we had a baby.”…

A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her melons in the mirror.He asks, “What are you doing?” She replies, “I went to the doctor today, and he told me I have the melons of a 25 year…

A 71 year old man is having a drink in a Chicago bar.  Suddenly a gorgeous 19 year old girl enters and sits down a few seats away.The girl is so attractive that he just can’t take his eyes off her.  …

"Flight 1234," the control tower advised, "turn right 45 degrees for noise abatement." "Roger," the pilot responded, "but we're at 35,000 feet. How much noise…

Funny jokes that’ll make you laugh out loud! ~~~ Funny Parenting Joke ~~~A man in the grocery store notices a woman with a three-year-old girl in her cart.As they pass the cookie section, the little…

A boy comes back from school, disappointed, because he got a 0 on a geography exam.“The teacher gave me a zero because I couldn’t answer a question on Portugal,” he said.His mother asked, “What was…

While working as a mall Santa, I had many children ask for electric trains. "If you get a train," I would tell each one, "you know your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that…

One day the tortoise met the elephant, who trumpeted, “Out of my way, you weakling – I might step on you!”. The tortoise was not afraid… One day the tortoise met the elephant, who trumpeted, “Out of…