While working as a mall Santa, I had many children ask for electric trains. "If you get a train," I would tell each one, "you know your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that…

One day the tortoise met the elephant, who trumpeted, “Out of my way, you weakling – I might step on you!”. The tortoise was not afraid… One day the tortoise met the elephant, who trumpeted, “Out of…

1. Avoid alliteration. Always. 2. Be more or less specific. 3. Employ the vernacular. 4. Contractions aren't necessary. 5. One should never generalize. 6. Remember to never split an infinitive.…

A married couple was having a conversation. The husband asked his wife: “If I ever win the lottery, what would you do?” The wife’s respond was: “I would take half and leave you!” The husband said:…

  What topics do men discuss when fishing? Sports or other topics they find intriguing in their lives are frequently discussed. However, if the men are married, one of the topics they would likely…

Jessie is telling Sam about the new mechanic in the neighborhood. "I'm telling you Sam, that's a mechanic you can trust!" "Really?" "Oh yeah, I thought he was going…

  A blonde goes into a store and sees a shiny object on the shelf. She asks the clerk, “What is that shiny object? “The clerk replies, “That is a thermos. “The blonde then asks, “What does it do?” The…