Tag: Jokes

My wife had never been to a baseball game, so I took her to see the Cincinnati Reds one night. Our seats were right behind the third-base line. At the top of the first inning,…

At a girl's college dormitory, dates were permitted only on Saturday night. One young man showed up on a Tuesday evening, explaining to an older woman in the lobby of the dorm…

The Boston Symphony was performing Beethoven's Ninth. In the piece, there's a long passage about 20 minutes during which the bass violinists have nothing to do. Rather…

A little known fact: Aesop used to moonlight as a waiter in a small restaurant in his home city. While taking orders one day, he heard a diner call out, "Hey Aesop, can…

A preacher at a Christian school, wanted to point out the proper behavior for church. He was trying to elicit from the youngsters, rules that their parents might give before taking…

Top 5 Signs You Probably Should be Exercising More: Your five-year-old walking shoes look brand new. Underneath that pile of cobwebs is your rowing machine That gym…

A priest was talking to a group of kids about "being good" and going to heaven. At the end of his talk, he asked, "Where do you want to…

Mr. Johnson: "Honey, it's been a while since the Worthingtons have been over for a visit." Mrs. Johnson: "And I don't think they'll be…

Stopping to pick up my daughter at kindergarten, I found out that the topic of "Show and Tell" that day had been parents' occupations. The teacher pulled me…

The manager of a restaurant called his wait staff together. "Okay, everyone," he said. "I want you all to look your best today. Greet every customer you see with a…

In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the teacher was asking. "Next question," announced the instructor. "How would…

When a man's dog died, he took it to the local Baptist church. He asked the preacher if he could have a funeral service for his much loved pet, but the preacher explained that…

The chef at a hotel approaches the manager one afternoon. "Ma'am," she asks. "What might be the best way to announce dinner? Should I say 'Dinner is…

Two daughters were having a discussion about family resemblance. "I look like Mom," said my nine-year-old, "but I have Dad's eyes and Dad's lips." The…

At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little…

A guy walks into a clinic to have his blood type taken. The nurse goes about taking the blood sample from his finger after finishing she looks around for a piece of cotton to wipe…

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? Border Collie: Just one. Then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code. Rottweiler: Make me! Lab: Oh, me, me! Pleeease let…

At 3:00 in the morning, Laura woke up and gently tapped her husband on the shoulder. "Hector, wake up, wake up!" "Huhh?" Hector replied groggily. "What is…

During dinner, Little Johnny's mother catches him feeding the dog under the table. "Johnny," she says sternly. "You know very well that you're not supposed…

A blonde is driving in her mini down the high way when she notices another blonde in a boat out in the middle of a corn field. The blonde in the boat was rowing the boat. The…