There was a trial in a small town in Texas, and the prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand, she was a grandmotherly, elderly woman.
He approached her and asked, “Mrs.
Davies, do you know me?”
She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you Mr.
Clarke.
I’ve known you since you were a young boy.”
“And frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me.”
“You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.”
“You think you’re a rising big-shot, but you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.”
“Yes, I know you.”
The lawyer was stunned.
Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked,
“Mrs.
Davies, do you know the defense attorney?”
She again replied, “Why, yes I do.
I’ve known Mr.
O’Leery since he was a youngster, too.”
“I used to baby-sit him for his parents.
And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me.”
“He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem.”
“The man can’t build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state.”
“Yes, I know him.”
At this point, the judge banged his gavel to silence the courtroom, then called both counselors to the bench.
In a very quiet voice, he said with menace,
“If either of you asks her if she knows me, you’ll be jailed for contempt!
