Tag: Jokes

A tourist was driving down a deserted road when he came to a sign reading, "ROAD CLOSED. DO NOT ENTER." Looking at the road ahead, he thought it looked passable; assuming…

A young man was having some money problems, and needed $200 to get his car fixed and road-worthy again. But had run out of people to borrow from. So, he calls his parents via…

Customer: "How much are these tomatoes?" Owner: "Ninety-nine cents a pound." Customer: "What? The stand down the road only charges seventy-nine…

An American who saw the volcano Mount Vesuvius erupt, was told by a native of the town that the United States had nothing to compare with it. The American simply said, "I…

Every morning during our coffee break, my co-workers and I listened to the culinary disasters of a newlywed colleague. We then tried to share some helpful hints and…

- If you messed up your life, you could press "Alt, Ctrl, Delete" and start all over! - To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"! - If you…

A woman had an attack of laryngitis and lost her voice completely for two days. To help her communicate, her husband devised a system of taps. One tap meant "Give me…

Sherry is walking through the zoo when she notices Bill throwing $10 bills in the monkey cage. Curious, she walks closer and asks, "Bill, what are you doing? Why are you…

At the airport for his 9-year-old son's first big trip by himself, after checking in on the phone with Grandma and Grandpa. Dad - "So what did Grandma say on the…

10. You take your paycheck to the bank and the teller bursts out in hysterical laughter. 9. The Red Cross calls and offers you emergency assistance. 8. Your only charge…

A real estate salesman had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water. “That customer's going to come back…

A customer in a department store is offered a discounted suit by a salesperson. "But the arms and legs don't match," he says. "One arm and one leg is shorter…

Q: How do you scare a man? A: Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice. Q: Men will brag that there are women waiting by the phone at this very moment for their call.…

A snake goes to the optometrist one day. "I've been having a bit of trouble with my eyesight lately," he says. "And it's been making it very difficult for…

Juan Vega, the clam diver, found an injured sea otter and nursed it back to health. From the moment the grateful otter was able to walk, it never left Juan's side. It even…

The day after I had surgery on my leg, a nurse came into my hospital room with a box in her hand. “Are you ready for this?” “What is it?” I asked. “Fleet enema. Didn’t…

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When an eel bites your thigh and you bleed out and die, that’s a moray. When you’re smashed with a jug in…

Apparently, independent studies have discovered that the internet is an addictive agent which, they say, is just as powerful as drugs or alcohol. However, researchers go on to…

Principal: "Billy, is it true that you called the teacher a big meanie?" Billy: "Yes I did." Principal: "And did you call her a wicked old…

Some geological engineers from the U.S.G.S. recently surveyed some property in New England and found that in a certain area, the New Hampshire and Maine border must be changed.…