Tag: Jokes

  A man walks into an antique store and starts looking around. Suddenly, he gazes upon the most stunning bronze statue of a Siamese cat. He asks the store owner how much he wants…

Our 26-year-old son moved back home with the idea to stock away money to buy a condo. We never bothered asking how long he'd planned to stay, but I got a pretty good idea when…

A newly ordained priest, fresh out of seminary, is a little nervous about his first day in the confessional. He asks the senior priest to sit in on his sessions. After the first…

A young bloke with his pants hanging half off his arse, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck; walked into the Centrelink to sign some paperwork.…

A man returns home early from work one afternoon to find his wife spread out on the bed, puffing and panting.“What are you doing?” the man inquires. “Err,” she stammers back. “I……

I was working in my downtown flower shop, when I noticed a man grab a bouquet and head for the door without paying. By the time I got to the door, he was halfway down the block. As…

After giving up three runs in the top of the first, the manager runs out of the dugout to have a word with his rookie pitcher. The manager says, “Son, I think I’ve figured out what…

An old man went to the college that he went to when he was a youth. He knocked on room number 3 of the hostel and said: “May I come in. I lived in this very room forty years ago…

A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.” Well, the lady is…

A young woman, (a new teacher) was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was…

Joey would always come to school late and tell the teacher a big lie about what had made him late. Fed up with his lies, the teacher planned to tell Joey a bigger lie to teach him…

  The CIA is interviewing three potential agents — two men and a woman. For the final test, they bring one of the male candidates to a…   He watched as his father moved from horse…

My neighbor, she’s single. She’s single, shapely, beautiful, and she lives right across the street. I watched her as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she…

  The CIA is interviewing three potential agents — two men and a woman. For the final test, they bring one of the male candidates to a…   He watched as his father moved from horse…

After enlisting in the 82nd Airborne Division, I eagerly asked my recruiter what I could expect from jump training. "Well," he said, "it's three weeks…

Everybody is entitled to their own opinion but that doesn’t mean that they have to force that opinion on others. Sometimes, however, there are people who want to force their…

For his birthday, the little boy asked for a 10 speed mountain bike… … but his Father explained that with the boys’ Mother just losing her job, and their £80,000 mortgage, there…

1. Salmonella won't be a concern. 2. Everyone will think your turkey is Cajun blackened. 3. Uninvited guests will think twice next year. 4. Your cheese broccoli lima bean…

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband’s keys in the door. “Stay where you are”, she said. “He would be so drunk that he would hardly notice”. The husband…

Fresh out of seminary, a young pastor found an associate position at a prestigious church. One Sunday early on, he was given the opportunity to preach. He prepared diligently -…