Tag: Jokes

  These three drunk guys decide to go to the joy house. The madam sees them coming and tells the girls to just throw some blow up dolls in the rooms and turn the lights out. The…

Teacher: "Now Johnny, can you tell me some of your favorite numbers?" Little Johnny: "541, 29, 623, 188, 769 and 40." Teacher: "Very good, Johnny, now I…

A man phones his wife and asks her: “Honey I’ve been asked to go fishing in China with my boss for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get the promotion. So could you…

A police detective was at the house of a woman whose past three husbands had suspiciously died. "I heard your first two husbands died of food poisoning." he inquired.…

Three scruffy-looking bikers entered the truck stop where an elderly man was dining. The first biker chuckled and sat down at the counter as they passed the elderly man after…

Mom: Time to wake up and go to school! Son: No, I don’t wanna go to school today! Mom: But you have to go to school. Son: But, I don’t wanna go to school. Mom: Give me three good…

  A man walks into an antique store and starts looking around. Suddenly, he gazes upon the most stunning bronze statue of a Siamese cat. He asks the store owner how much he wants…

A newly ordained priest, fresh out of seminary, is a little nervous about his first day in the confessional. He asks the senior priest to sit in on his sessions. After the first…

A young bloke with his pants hanging half off his arse, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck; walked into the Centrelink to sign some paperwork.…

Jane Benson returned home from college one day to see her family. While chatting together at dinner, her five year old brother Joey overheard Jane speaking about her boyfriend…

A man returns home early from work one afternoon to find his wife spread out on the bed, puffing and panting.“What are you doing?” the man inquires. “Err,” she stammers back. “I……

A wife was a little guilty that her husband wasn’t very happy because she didn’t like to do anything and didn’t want to ever leave the house. With this in mind, while eating an…

After giving up three runs in the top of the first, the manager runs out of the dugout to have a word with his rookie pitcher. The manager says, “Son, I think I’ve figured out what…

Little Johnny had left the house to meet his friends without asking his mother. Once he came home, his mother was not pleased. "Johnny," she said, "if you wanted to…

An old man went to the college that he went to when he was a youth. He knocked on room number 3 of the hostel and said: “May I come in. I lived in this very room forty years ago…

The arithmetic teacher had written 10.9 on the blackboard and had then rubbed out the decimal point to show the effect of multiplying this number by ten. "Johnny," the…

A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.” Well, the lady is…

A young woman, (a new teacher) was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was…

  The CIA is interviewing three potential agents — two men and a woman. For the final test, they bring one of the male candidates to a…   He watched as his father moved from horse…

After our brand-new washing machine broke down, my in-laws, my husband, and I were discussing how today’s appliances can’t compete with the quality of those made 50 years ago. “Oh,…