Tag: Jokes

  Two elderly women were out driving in a large car, neither one could hardly see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was…

A monkey is sitting in a tree, relaxing, when a lizard walks past.The lizard looks up and says, “Hey, what are you doing up there?”The monkey says, “Just chilling out. Come up and…

“Students, if you were on a date, having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you politely say that you need to go to the bathroom? Michael?”Michael: “Just a minute, I have to…

During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how pretty his roommate was.She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only…

A lonely 70-year-old widow decided that it was time to marry again. She put an ad in the local newspaper that read: “Husband wanted! Must be in my age group, must not beat me, must…

  Tom married a woman with an identical twin.Less than a year later, he was in court filing for a divorce.“Tell the court why you want a divorce,” said the judge.“Well, your honor,…

A man was reading the newspaper during breakfast and said to his wife, “Look at this.Another beautiful actress is going to marry a baseball player who’s a total dope!I’ll never…

  A MAN IS IN A BAR AND READY TO TAKE A DRINK OF HIS WHISKEY WHEN A NUN COMES UP TO HIM AND SAYS, “DON’T TAKE THAT DRINK, THAT IS THE DEVIL’S BREW.” The man says that the drink is…

A young, extremely perky woman gets into an elevator with an older man…The woman smiles broadly and says, “TGIF”!The man slowly turns to her and deadpans, “S.h.i.t.”The woman,…

“Please come over and help me. I have a challenging jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get started.”Her boyfriend asks,“What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”The…

We all have minor hobbies that make us happy and divert us from our daily lives. Someone like cooking, creating wonders in the kitchen, while others enjoy knitting snug sweaters…

A wife hands her husband a list before he heads to the store and says, “Please stick to the list, no distractions.”He nods and heads out. An hour later, he returns with bags full…

A bride tells her husband, “Honey, you know I’m a virgin and I don’t know anything about sex.Can you explain it to me first?”“Okay, sweetheart.Putting it simply, we will call your…

One day Jimmy John went to into a brothel on the west coast of Canada.He was greeted by a stunning hostess that politely asked how they can be of service.Jimmy, with his…

Captivating Hollywood actress Megan Fox was spotted flaunting an exceptionally voluptuous pout as she concluded her visit to Elite Aesthetics, a renowned medical spa located in the…

A person is traveling and calls home to ask how things are at home. The kid says the cat died. Kid is told you don’t break news that directly, you first say cat is on the roof,…

They go on their honeymoon to beautiful, picturesque Venice, Italy.After a day of sightseeing, they return to their hotel.He turns to his young bride and says “Honey, I’m tired…

A very awful man died and was sent to Hell.Satan met him and welcomed him.“Despite what you’ve heard, this place is not so bad,” he purred. “You have choices. Let me show you.”He…

Edna: “Well, I’ll warn you about what happened last week!He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7 P.M, dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brings me such…

A boss arrives at the office in the morning with his pants’ zipper undone. The secretary, unsure how to address it directly, approaches him:Boss, this morning when you left home,…