Tag: Jokes

Three guys and a lady were sitting at the bar talking about their professions.The first guy says, “I’m a YUPPIE. You know, young, urban, professional.”The second guy says, “I’m a…

Returning from her vacation, the young secretary was telling anyone who would listen about what a fun time she had. She then asked for two weeks leave in which to get married. “But…

A guy is in for a job interview, and the interviewer asks him“What would you consider to be your biggest weakness?”The guy replies“Honesty. I’m honest with everyone; I don’t know…

A young man was having some money problems, and needed $200 to get his car fixed and road-worthy again. But had run out of people to borrow from. So, he calls his parents via the…

A biker went to a bar and ordered a drink.As he sat sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him.She turned to the biker and asked, “Are you a real biker?”He replied,…

One day a city stockbroker decides he has just had too much.Too much stress, too much of the big city, too much everything.So he quits him job, gives up his apartment and rents out…

An Irish priest was transferred to Texas.Father O’Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new west Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of…

However, no matter what they do in bed, Laura never achieves orgasm.For months they try everything they can think of – different positions, different toys and some things that are…

A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives. “Last night I made love to my…

A local shop steward attended the big union national convention in Las Vegas.While there he decided to take part in the legal prostitution business with one stipulation.The brothel…

Customer: "How much are these tomatoes?" Owner: "Ninety-nine cents a pound." Customer: "What? The stand down the road only charges seventy-nine cents a…

A girlfriend and boyfriend walked into the girlfriend’s house and the girlfriend said to her mom, “Mom, me and my boyfriend are going up to my room”… It was three o’clock in the…

Two old ladies are sitting on a bus stop, smoking. It begins to rain, and one old lady pulls out a condom, stretches it out, snips the tip off and puts it over her cigarette so she…

An Englishman staggers, ashen-faced, into a roadside bar, demanding a large brandy. The barman is concerned. “Well” says the man, “I was just driving along and my BMW suddenly gave…

An American who saw the volcano Mount Vesuvius erupt, was told by a native of the town that the United States had nothing to compare with it. The American simply said, "I…

A young man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and is going to get married. He says, “Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over three women and you try and guess which…

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, “What’s in the bags?” “Sand,” answered Juan.The guard…

A guy goes to confession and says,“Bless me father for I have sinned. On Friday I went golfing and I used the “F” word. The priest says, “tell me about it, my son”.The man says, I…

A young couple, glowing with happiness, had just tied the knot in a beautiful church ceremony. Now it was time for the next exciting chapter of their journey: their honeymoon. They…

A lady walks into Tiffany & Co, looks around, spots a beautiful diamond necklace and walks over to inspect it.As she bends over to look more closely at it, she unexpectedly…