Tag: Jokes

A bus full of nuns crashes and they all die and go to the pearly gates. There they are met by St Peter. St Peter asks the first nun: “Sister, have you ever touched a man unit?” The…

Some geological engineers from the U.S.G.S. recently surveyed some property in New England and found that in a certain area, the New Hampshire and Maine border must be changed.…

A girlfriend and boyfriend walked into the girlfriend’s house and the girlfriend said to her mom, “Mom, me and my boyfriend are going up to my room”… It was three o’clock in the…

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip. When leaving, the…

After a day of grueling maneuvers under the blazing Texas sun, the platoon stood in front of the barracks. "All right, maggots, think about this," bellowed the drill…

A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn’t do it while he waited, so he said he didn’t live far and would just walk home. On the way home…

The Committee for the Reduction of Redundancy and the Anti-proliferation of Repetition has decided not to meet until they have their first meeting and thus will not be meeting…

A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbour of his. he neighbour happened to be a…

One evening a teenage daughter and her mother were out shopping when they stopped to make a purchase. The young girl greeted the cashier with only a “Hi,” then proceeded to dig…

I come from a large family, five sisters and three brothers. My sisters and I were looking through the family photo album one day. Picture after picture, we were all dressed in…

A guy goes on to a ship to sail (and work) but he notices no women on board.so he runs to the captian Guy: capt. capt.! theres no women on borad what will be do for…

Three very mischievous old ladies are sitting on a park bench when they see an old man walk by. "Say, fella," the first lady says. "I bet we can guess your…

A doctor just finishes his check-up with a man. Dr: I’ve got good new and bad news. Which do you want to hear first? Patient: I guess the bad news. Dr: Well, you only have about 3…

A man and his wife are at a high school reunion… … and the husband keeps staring at a gorgeous drunken lady swigging her gin at a nearby table, glass after glass. His wife turns to…

A sales rep for a publisher of accounting reference materials was talking to a customer about a guide to assist with preparing for an audit. The way she described their…

When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big boobs. When I was 16 I got a girlfriend with big boobs, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a…

Nothing looks good on me anymore,” wailed a customer modeling an outfit in front of the department store’s mirror. “Nonsense, ma’am,” soothed the salesclerk. “That dress says it…

The blonde reported for her university final examination that consists of yes/no type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five…

The air traffic controller, working a busy pattern, told the 727 on downwind to make a three-sixty (usually done to provide spacing between aircraft). The pilot of the 727…

A beautiful woman who had a golden little plane necklace was seated next to a guy on the plane. During the flight all the time he was gazing at the necklace. When the woman asked…