Tag: Jokes

Interrupted by disapproving looks from other patrons. The dimly lit bar seemed to hold its breath as it calmly looked into the cyclist’s eyes. “Dude, I loved this drink. It must be…

A drunken Irishman is driving through the city of Dublin and his car is weaving violently all over the road.A cop pulls him over.“So,” says the cop to the driver, “where have you…

Apparently, independent studies have discovered that the internet is an addictive agent which, they say, is just as powerful as drugs or alcohol. However, researchers go on to say…

On his first day on the job, the trainee dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone: “Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!” The voice from the other side responded: “You fool,…

Little Johnny had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he’d make a deal with his son,“You bring…

Principal: "Billy, is it true that you called the teacher a big meanie?" Billy: "Yes I did." Principal: "And did you call her a wicked old witch?"…

A bus full of nuns crashes and they all die and go to the pearly gates. There they are met by St Peter. St Peter asks the first nun: “Sister, have you ever touched a man unit?” The…

Some geological engineers from the U.S.G.S. recently surveyed some property in New England and found that in a certain area, the New Hampshire and Maine border must be changed.…

A girlfriend and boyfriend walked into the girlfriend’s house and the girlfriend said to her mom, “Mom, me and my boyfriend are going up to my room”… It was three o’clock in the…

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip. When leaving, the…

After a day of grueling maneuvers under the blazing Texas sun, the platoon stood in front of the barracks. "All right, maggots, think about this," bellowed the drill…

A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn’t do it while he waited, so he said he didn’t live far and would just walk home. On the way home…

The Committee for the Reduction of Redundancy and the Anti-proliferation of Repetition has decided not to meet until they have their first meeting and thus will not be meeting…

A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbour of his. he neighbour happened to be a…

One evening a teenage daughter and her mother were out shopping when they stopped to make a purchase. The young girl greeted the cashier with only a “Hi,” then proceeded to dig…

I come from a large family, five sisters and three brothers. My sisters and I were looking through the family photo album one day. Picture after picture, we were all dressed in…

A guy goes on to a ship to sail (and work) but he notices no women on board.so he runs to the captian Guy: capt. capt.! theres no women on borad what will be do for…

Three very mischievous old ladies are sitting on a park bench when they see an old man walk by. "Say, fella," the first lady says. "I bet we can guess your…

A doctor just finishes his check-up with a man. Dr: I’ve got good new and bad news. Which do you want to hear first? Patient: I guess the bad news. Dr: Well, you only have about 3…

A man and his wife are at a high school reunion… … and the husband keeps staring at a gorgeous drunken lady swigging her gin at a nearby table, glass after glass. His wife turns to…