Tag: Jokes

Your Clothes: 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy. 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible. 3rd…

A man travels on a ship. Two days in, the ship encounters a storm and drowns. Hanging on weakly to a piece of the mast, he manages to survive and gets washed up on an unknown…

“What’s this about?” he asks the bartender.“That’s our monthly contest. You put in a $20 entry fee and then perform the three acts. If you complete all three successfully you win…

A computer was something on TV from a science fiction show, a window was something you hated to clean, and ram was the cousin of a goat. Meg was the name of my girlfriend, and gig…

They go on their honeymoon to beautiful, picturesque Venice, Italy. After a day of sightseeing, they return to their hotel. He turns to his young bride and says “Honey, I’m tired…

Stiffly he walks in, gets a beer and sits down.By his third, he realizes some of the locals are looking at him and whispering.The biker walks out and returns a few minutes later…

There was a World wide survey of “Most Embarrassing Moment in human life”the finale had the following three incidents…Third Place“It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I…

Read The Joke Of The Day Four married men go fishing on a Saturday morning.They’re sitting, fishing and drinking beer in the boat, when suddenly the first man says:“You have no…

A man travels on a ship. Two days in, the ship encounters a storm and drowns. Hanging on weakly to a piece of the mast, he manages to survive and gets washed up on an unknown…

Mrs. Jennings began each vocabulary lesson by asking the students to use a word in a sentence. “Okay, class,” she announced, “who can use the word ‘fascinate’ properly in a…

A newly married couple are in bed when the man asks his wife how many men she has slept with After the question, the woman doesn’t respond. The man asks again “Just tell me, it’s…

A balding, white haired man walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side.He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring…

A customer wanted to ask his attractive waitress for a date, but couldn't get her attention. When he was able to catch her eye, she quickly looked away. Finally he followed…

A young man was in love with a beautiful girl. One day she said to him: “It is my birthday tomorrow.” “Oh,” said the young man, “I’ll send you roses, one rose for each year of your…

The wife checked her husband’s phone and found these names: ‘The tender one’ ‘The amazing one’ ‘Lady of my dreams, She got angry and called the first number to find out that was…

A lady comes home from her doctor’s appointment grinning from ear to ear.Her husband asks, “Why are you so happy?”The wife says, “The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old…

A nun in the convent walked into the bathroom where mother superior was taking a shower. “There is a blind man to see you,” she says. “Well, if he is a blind man, than it does not…

They sat drinking for a while when a very smartly dressed man walks in and orders a drink. The two began to speculate about what the man did for a living.“I’ll bet he’s an…

A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her melons in the mirror. He asks, “What are you doing?” She replies, “I went to the doctor today, and he told me I have the…

On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, “Well, I’m off now. The man should be here soon.”Half an hour later, just by chance, a…