Tag: Jokes

A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her melons in the mirror. He asks, “What are you doing?” She replies, “I went to the doctor today, and he told me I have the…

On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, “Well, I’m off now. The man should be here soon.”Half an hour later, just by chance, a…

The wedding was a beautiful affair and the reception equally stunning, the guests had all settled down with drinks in hand. A prayer for the food and a toast to the young couple…

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been…

A woman went to a computer dating service and said she didn’t care about looks, income or background.All she wanted was a man of upright character.Then a man came in and told them…

My wife had never been to a baseball game, so I took her to see the Cincinnati Reds one night. Our seats were right behind the third-base line. At the top of the first inning, the…

A girlfriend and boyfriend walked into the girlfriend’s house and the girlfriend said to her mom, “Mom, me and my boyfriend are going up to my room”… It was three o’clock in the…

There is a diner in New Orleans that advertises that it will serve you anything you want… but if they can’t, they will give you $5,000 as an apology. A man passing by sees this…

?? THE JOKE ??A man was away on a business trip, and decided to call his wife to let her know he had arrived safely.A little girl picks up the phone.“Hello?”“Hi, honey. This is…

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties…

… Last night, a homeless man sought shelter in our walls, so we gave him a room and some new clothes. While he was changing, I peaked through the keyhole and I stared longingly at…

At a girl's college dormitory, dates were permitted only on Saturday night. One young man showed up on a Tuesday evening, explaining to an older woman in the lobby of the dorm…

Three couples marry and stay at the same hotel for their honeymoons, where they are taken care of by Dave the bellboy. The first man married a nurse. Dave thinks to himself,…

Leeroy was a worker in a small pharmacy in Arkansas, but he was not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted.Arnold, the owner, had had about enough and…

The Boston Symphony was performing Beethoven's Ninth. In the piece, there's a long passage about 20 minutes during which the bass violinists have nothing to do. Rather…

A 57 year-old millionaire is getting married.His friends are jealous and one of them asks how he landed such a hot 23 year old blonde beauty…“Simple”, grins the millionaire. “I…

The teacher was telling the kids about the birds and the bees. She explained that, “When a man and a woman meet and fall in love, nine months later, the stork usually brings them a…

So she asked her grandchild about her plans.“Why, I am going out on my first date with a handsome young fella, Grandma! I am so excited!”The Grandma raised her eyebrows, shook her…

A little known fact: Aesop used to moonlight as a waiter in a small restaurant in his home city. While taking orders one day, he heard a diner call out, "Hey Aesop, can you…

A man frantically calls the hotel desk from his room on the 11th floor. “Please come quick I’m having an argument with my wife and she says she’s going to jump out the hotel…