Tag: Jokes

A blonde car gets a flat tire on the Interstate one day So she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road. She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk. She then takes…

A wife was a little guilty that her husband wasn’t very happy because she didn’t like to do anything and didn’t want to ever leave the house. With this in mind, while eating an…

A man and his wife were sitting in the living room discussing a “Living Will” “Just so you know. I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids…

Little Johnny had left the house to meet his friends without asking his mother. Once he came home, his mother was not pleased. "Johnny," she said, "if you wanted to…

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section. The stewardess tells her she must move to coach because she doesn’t have a first class ticket. The blonde…

The arithmetic teacher had written 10.9 on the blackboard and had then rubbed out the decimal point to show the effect of multiplying this number by ten. "Johnny," the…

Three nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctor they worked for. Later in the day, they all got together on break and discussed what they had done to the doctor. The first…

When I got home, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight. He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the…

After our brand-new washing machine broke down, my in-laws, my husband, and I were discussing how today’s appliances can’t compete with the quality of those made 50 years ago. “Oh,…

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, ‘Jesus knows you’re here.’ He nearly jumped out of his…

A little boy went to the store with his grandmother and on the way home, he was looking at the things she had purchased. He found a package of panty hose and began to sound out the…

A blonde is swimming in a river. A man walks up and asks her, “What are you doing in there?” She says, “I’m washing my clothes.” The man asks, “Why don’t you use a washing…

A man walked into his backyard one morning and found there was a gorilla in a tree: He called a gorilla removal service and soon a serviceman arrived with a stick, a Chihuahua, a…

Janice, my sister, had been pestering her husband, a carpenter, for more than a decade to build a screen door for the kitchen. One day, to her delight, he built and installed one…

Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, “What a beautiful night. Look at that moon!” The other drunk stops and looks at his drunk friend. “You are wrong. That’s…

My husband was building shelves in our bedroom and, intending to continue his work the next day, left some tools on my dresser, including a hammer, screwdriver, and chisel. The…

A guy walked into a doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He said, “shingles.” So she took down his name, address, and medical insurance number and told him…

The teacher noticed that Johnny had been day dreaming for a long time.She decided to get his attention. “Johnny,” she said, “If the world is 25,000 miles around and eggs are sixty…

Marge was in bed with a man (not her husband). All of a sudden, they heard a noise downstairs. "Oh, my gosh, your husband is home! What am I going to do?" "Just stay…

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn, she rolled the dice and landed on “Science & Nature”. Her question was, “If you are in a vacuum and someone…