Tag: Jokes

 A woman finds Aladdin’s magic lamp.She starts rubbing it and a Genie comes out as usual.The woman looks at the Genie and asks him to grant her wishes:She says“I want my husband to…

A woman walks into a pharmacy one day and says to the pharmacist, “I’d like a poison that’ll kill my husband but make it look like he died of natural causes.” The pharmacist says,…

    Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned.…

An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary.The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired.Holding…

I was walking through the store, and I kept hearing an annoying kid yelling, “Grandma!" I was walking past her when he finally found her. He said to her, “Grandma, where were…

A girlfriend and boyfriend walked into the girlfriend’s house and the girlfriend said to her mom, “Mom, me and my boyfriend are going up to my room”… It was three o’clock in the…

An elderly man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.The man…

Two old women are discussing the disgusting habits of their husbands.“Even after all these years, my husband will not stop biting his nails,” the first woman explains.“My husband…

A girlfriend and boyfriend walked into the girlfriend’s house and the girlfriend said to her mom, “Mom, me and my boyfriend are going up to my room”… It was three o’clock in the…

 The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work,“I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we re going to be three in this house instead of two.”Her husband ran to…

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go, and he couldn't return to Earth. The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to…

  Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin. As they were approaching Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town’s name. They argued back and forth…

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her.She asks him why he is staring.He replies: “I have a question…

The preacher was going for a dinner visit at the home of a family where the Dad was a member of the church but the mother was not. The mother was agreeable that her husband could…

  The little daughter asked her mother, “How do you make a baby?” The mother didn’t know how to react. So she thought real hard, “Well, daddy hugged mommy really hard and 9 months…

Wife: Doing her makeup early morning straight out from BedHusband: Are you crazy???Wife: Just shut up, I need to unlock my phone.Its on face recognition feature and it is not…

  A guy took his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time. After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game. “Oh, I really liked it,” she said, “but I…

When they are handing out rifles, he is at the back of the line and they run out just before they get to him.The Sergeant gives him a stick and tells him to just pretend it’s a…

In most offices, the photocopier is out of order every now and then. One copy repairman had answered question after question for the employees. Finally one day, he just smiled and…

 THE JOKE  An elderly woman is riding in an elevator, on her way to a doctor’s appointment… Suddenly, the elevator stops, and a beautiful young woman smelling of expensive perfume…