Tag: Jokes

He gets out, walks inside, pulls out a rolls of twenties and starts buying everybody drinks.The weird part was is he had a head the size of a grapefruit.The bartender stirs up a…

A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb, and asked them to write the rest. As You Shall Make Your Bed…

A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb blonde. Her friend tells her “Go do something to prove them wrong! Why don’t you learn all the state…

During their vocabulary session the teacher begins her lesson with the word Contagious.So the teacher asks, “Can anyone use the word contagious in a sentence?”And of course, there…

The pope is early for his flight. He asks his driver on his way to the airport if he could drive around for a while because they have time to kill and he hasn't driven a car…

The little daughter asked her mother, “How do you make a baby?” The mother didn’t know how to react. So she thought real hard, “Well, daddy hugged mommy really hard and 9 months…

A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her melons in the mirror.He asks, “What are you doing?” She replies, “I went to the doctor today, and he told me I have the…

A 71 year old man is having a drink in a Chicago bar.  Suddenly a gorgeous 19 year old girl enters and sits down a few seats away.The girl is so attractive that he just can’t take…

"Flight 1234," the control tower advised, "turn right 45 degrees for noise abatement." "Roger," the pilot responded, "but we're at 35,000…

Funny jokes that’ll make you laugh out loud! ~~~ Funny Parenting Joke ~~~A man in the grocery store notices a woman with a three-year-old girl in her cart.As they pass the cookie…

A boy comes back from school, disappointed, because he got a 0 on a geography exam.“The teacher gave me a zero because I couldn’t answer a question on Portugal,” he said.His mother…

While working as a mall Santa, I had many children ask for electric trains. "If you get a train," I would tell each one, "you know your dad is going to want to play…

One day the tortoise met the elephant, who trumpeted, “Out of my way, you weakling – I might step on you!”. The tortoise was not afraid… One day the tortoise met the elephant, who…

“They’re not very smart, but they’re nice, and I’m not sure whether to let them in or not.”God says, “Well we do have standards here.  Ask them some simple questions, if they get…

Sharing is caring!A camel dealer reached a village to sell fine animals at a very good price.Everyone bought one, except Mr. Hoosep.Some time later, the village received a visit…

1. Avoid alliteration. Always. 2. Be more or less specific. 3. Employ the vernacular. 4. Contractions aren't necessary. 5. One should never generalize. 6. Remember to never…

A married couple was having a conversation. The husband asked his wife: “If I ever win the lottery, what would you do?” The wife’s respond was: “I would take half and leave you!”…

THE JOKE The population of this country is 327 million. 76 million are retired. That leaves 251 million to do the work. There are 48 million people who are permanently disabled.…

A man in his mid forties bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive.The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he…

  What topics do men discuss when fishing? Sports or other topics they find intriguing in their lives are frequently discussed. However, if the men are married, one of the topics…