Tag: Jokes

This older lady handed her bank card to the teller and said “I would like to withdraw $10”. The teller told her “for withdrawals less than $100, please use the ATM. The old lady…

A girlfriend and boyfriend walked into the girlfriend’s house and the girlfriend said to her mom, “Mom, me and my boyfriend are going up to my room” and the mom says, “Ok honey,…

A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy. "Where in tarnation have you been…

I’m 5’2, and my highest weight that I stayed at for a long time was 215. I got to 25, and realized I had never been in a relationship. I was too self conscious about my body, and…

This older lady handed her bank card to the teller and said “I would like to withdraw $10”. The teller told her “for withdrawals less than $100, please use the ATM. The old lady…

A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question. "Boys and girls, what do we know about God?" A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the…

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman from South Alabama arrives and bets $20,000 on a single roll of dice. She says, “I hope you…

I’m 5’2, and my highest weight that I stayed at for a long time was 215. I got to 25, and realized I had never been in a relationship. I was too self conscious about my body, and…

There was a trial in a small town in Texas, and the prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand, she was a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked,…

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman from South Alabama arrives and bets $20,000 on a single roll of dice. She says, “I hope you…

Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the screen. A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off? A: Pick it up and shake it. Q:…

  He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs and rump, and chest. His father replied, “Because when I’m buying horses, I…

There was a trial in a small town in Texas, and the prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand, she was a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked,…

An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his IRS agent and his Lawyer (both church members), to come to his home. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As…

  The CIA is interviewing three potential agents — two men and a woman. For the final test, they bring one of the male candidates to a door and hand him a gun. “We must know that…

  The CIA is interviewing three potential agents — two men and a woman. For the final test, they bring one of the male candidates to a door and hand him a gun. “We must know that…

1. Dial 911 immediately. 2. Open the curtains to see if anything has changed over the past 2 years. 3. You mean there's something else to do? 4. Threaten your ISP with an…

At the Doctor's Clinic... Patient: Ooh! Doctor, when will this stomach ache go? Doctor: Don't worry, Just follow this prescription and you will get quick relief. As the…

A crew of highway maintenance workers was sent to repair some road signs that vandals had knocked down in a forested area. The first one they put back up was a symbol warning of a…

An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending so much of his free time in the local bar, so one night he took her along with him. "What'll you have?" he…