Tag: Jokes

A 70-year-old man has never been married. One day, he meets a beautiful 17-year-old girl, and it is love at first sight. They get married and go to Florida for their honeymoon.…

Bell 2 rings, we slide down the pole; Bell 3 rings, we’re on the trucks. From now on, we’re going to run this house the same way. When I say Bell 1, I want you to strip naked. When…

Home Funny A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this, the wife wants him to quit. She gets two…

A fireman comes home from work one day and tells his wife, “We have a wonderful system at the fire station: Bell 1 rings, we put on… A little boy wanted a bicycle for Christmas.…

His workmates realized that they would have to be the ones to inform his widow of his passing. They trooped over to Patrick’s cottage at the end of their shift and solemnly…

A lawyer is talking to his client.He says, “I have good news and bad news.” The client says, “I could use some good news. What is it?”“Your ex-wife will not make you pay for an…

A attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he…

A rabbit walks into a grocery store. He bangs his paws on the counter and yells “a pound of carrots!” The shopkeeper says “I’ll get you the carrots, but please don’t bang your paws…

Two blondes realize that their apartment is on fire and go out onto the balcony. “Help, help!” yells one of the blondes. “Help us, help us!” yells the other. “Maybe it would help…

He sits down at the counter, orders a cup of coffee, and starts looking at the menu. He sees broccoli and cheese soup and asks the waitress if it’s any good.She says sure, she…

After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had…

A schoolteacher used to take a short nap every afternoon. When his pupils asked him why he did so, he said that he went to dreamland to meet ancient sages.One extremely hot day…

One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. They are about to do a goodnight kiss, but the guy is feeling a little excited. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against…

A young boy stopped by the corner grocery store and read his list to the clerk: “10 pounds if sugar at 1.25 a pound; 4 pounds of… A schoolteacher used to take a short nap every…

A wife goes on a retreat for work. When she returns, she finds a pair of panties in her dresser that do not belong to her. Furious, she questions her husband. The husband says, “I…

A young boy stopped by the corner grocery store and read his list to the clerk: “10 pounds if sugar at 1.25 a pound; 4 pounds of coffee beans at 1.50 a pound; 2 pounds of butter at…

Home Funny A couple drove down a country road A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of…

My girlfriends name is Wendy and I had it tattooed on my unit.When it’s flaccid you can only see WY. On a trip to the Caribbean I went to the bathroom and was standing at the…

A schoolteacher used to take a short nap every afternoon. When his pupils asked him why he did so, he said that he went to dreamland to meet ancient sages.One extremely hot day…

A blonde got caught in a blizzard… It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when the little blonde got off work. She made her way to her car…