Tag: Jokes

One day a child at my four-year-old's preschool class told her classmates that she needed a 'damp towel.' Some of the other kids thought she said a naughty word…

Jesus and Satan were having an argument as to who was the better programmer. This went on for a few hours until they agreed to hold a contest with God as the judge. They sat at…

Bud and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as airplane mechanics in Atlanta. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.…

A man was walking down the road when suddenly, a masked man jumped out from behind a bush and yelled, "Give me your money!" "I have no money, I'm just a…

A couple college kids, Stan and Ryan, are riding to school on a Chicago subway train when a homeless man approaches and begs for spare change. Stan adamantly rejects the man in…

Your Clothes: 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy. 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as…

A computer was something on TV from a science fiction show, a window was something you hated to clean, and ram was the cousin of a goat. Meg was the name of my girlfriend, and…

A customer wanted to ask his attractive waitress for a date, but couldn't get her attention. When he was able to catch her eye, she quickly looked away. Finally he…

A man is walking across a bridge when he notices a little boy crying. Concerned, he walks up to the boy and asks, "Say, what's wrong, young fellow?" "My…

An American manufacturer is showing his machine factory to a potential customer from a foreign country. At noon, when the lunch whistle blows, two thousand men and women…

The wedding was a beautiful affair and the reception equally stunning, the guests had all settled down with drinks in hand. A prayer for the food and a toast to the young couple…

My wife had never been to a baseball game, so I took her to see the Cincinnati Reds one night. Our seats were right behind the third-base line. At the top of the first inning,…

At a girl's college dormitory, dates were permitted only on Saturday night. One young man showed up on a Tuesday evening, explaining to an older woman in the lobby of the dorm…

The Boston Symphony was performing Beethoven's Ninth. In the piece, there's a long passage about 20 minutes during which the bass violinists have nothing to do. Rather…

A little known fact: Aesop used to moonlight as a waiter in a small restaurant in his home city. While taking orders one day, he heard a diner call out, "Hey Aesop, can…

A preacher at a Christian school, wanted to point out the proper behavior for church. He was trying to elicit from the youngsters, rules that their parents might give before taking…

Top 5 Signs You Probably Should be Exercising More: Your five-year-old walking shoes look brand new. Underneath that pile of cobwebs is your rowing machine That gym…

A priest was talking to a group of kids about "being good" and going to heaven. At the end of his talk, he asked, "Where do you want to…

Mr. Johnson: "Honey, it's been a while since the Worthingtons have been over for a visit." Mrs. Johnson: "And I don't think they'll be…

Stopping to pick up my daughter at kindergarten, I found out that the topic of "Show and Tell" that day had been parents' occupations. The teacher pulled me…